cnt sleep....insomia..

1st time: before this i just feel wanna somebody give me a hug in the morning... dunno y...just a sudd feel.... at nite, i told my roommate that at morning i suddenly wanna hug from ppl, thn she just ask me y???? i oso dunno... but at last b4 she go sleep, she giv me a hug...haha...although is just 4 a few seconds...but it's made me feel warmly, n safety i think... hahaha.....by de way, thanks 4 ur hug my dear roommate although made me bcme a pipe after that..hehe....but i feel nice...

2nd time: i just sleep 4 2 hours at noon n i though that i could sleep oso at nite cz i owez can sleep well although gt many thgs ned 2 solve...but tat day....something goin wrong on me.... at nite, i plan wanna sleep cz i feel tired...but whn i lay on my bed 4 about 20minutes, i felt that i cant sleep at all...thn i told my mate, she oso feel de same....but we also switch off the light n try to sleep...we just chating so tat can chat until tired but dunno y i sudd very emotional... mayb becoz of tis few weeks feel very sad n stress or watever.... tis is the longest time in my life tat my tears drop down uncontrolable until even i myself cnt stop it...i think it has remain until 1 hour lik tat... i try to ask myself to stop but it doesnt help although i tried to think of anythg more happy n relaxing situation... at last it stop n i feel very tired n my mate oso accompany me until my situation calm down although she sleep above me while i sitting below the double storybed... just feel 'paiseh' to her cz making she feel uncomfortable n accompany me the whole nite although she just asking 'are u ok oledi' n just quiet there without saying anythg....just thanks.....

anyway...
just hope i can try my best to be happy....hehe...
although i just try to cover my tears behind it....
hope any1 that i had been hurt by me when i doin sth o say sth will forgive my attitude during tis time...mayb just few ppl of it...hehehehe......

goodbye

27.02.10
am 01:04
receive call from dad...
saying that grandma already leave us..
to the place far away...
maybe reunion with grandpa...
nobody noe....
asking should i bac??
answer is no need...
just dun wear those red colour cloths....
ok...
hang up my phone...
nothing happen..
after few seconds.....
my tears suddenly fall out from my eyes while watching drama.....
crying even myself cant control it...
a few minutes pass by...
stop crying...
calm down...
but.....
still cant controll,
cry again....
this is the 2nd time longest crying in my life since the last time i cry....
just realize tat my feeling for my grandma after so many years until she leave us...
so dissapointed of myself....
just can say goodbye n enjoy ur journey at another place...
RIP to my beloved grandma...